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Mudoo Ra

by Hungry Lights

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1.
Instrumental.
2.
Pit Rat 06:21
When I had climbed those steps, I slaughtered all resistance A hole in my chest, so it seems you can’t miss I was bathed in flames from the head to the toe -Conquered the gods And look, everybody noticed Not a mortal man—no pain, no shame -A cutthroat bitch with no cross to bear Who would have thought, huh? I don’t know, I don’t think about that I’m too busy cleaning up the nonsense, Nonsense, nonsense! Feral instinct soon devoured logical thinking Who’s to blame? It’s always someone else’s fault That’s enough said I’ve spent too much time complying That’s not purpose, And hoping does not make a wish come true O’ I’d broke my back trying to carry gravity Its whip, it cracked and hissed, So my conscience went on screaming, “We all share the same blood We are one Lift us up” Calm, calm, calm was the beast inside that suit, But the fangs still sank deep -Ensuring irreversible A taste of the grim, growing state that I live to create I generated a new coyote fate Was scraped on a floor of greed until I bled straight hate Yo, I mastered being fake You irritate me with that taunting, taunting, taunting! Hush your mouth One day you’ll feel how I felt; Nothing—void of pain It’s almost like a talent I’d been worthless I’d been thinking it was time for change Gave me purpose Gave it up ‘cause hoping never has its way I broke my back trying to carry gravity Its whip, it cracked and hissed, So my conscience went on screaming, “We all share the same blood We are one Lift us up” Sometimes I scream for nothing Forgive me for that sin I couldn’t cry that day I can’t help it Gods don’t have a weakness Here’s my place—right atop the great stone Now I don’t look people in the eyes, For deep down, I know all I’ll see is me—is me O’ I’d put my faith into a crown, And I blamed you for that wanting We don’t leave things well enough alone We don’t seem to see things clearly And I told myself that it was okay to run and hide from evil, But who was I to judge the hearts of men? I’m just as bad as them! This is shame, And that’s no clever trick ‘Cause everybody wants to dance with a champion -The first of all rats to claim that pit! I’d brought the gods down! And in their craters, I grew grand I became pure Mi foolin mi—nuh! An mi chuck drough de jest A murdera? Nuh! Mi just pro of mi de bess Mi see yuh back to de corna—back down de corridor Mi kill just one, just one—no more Bwoy! Not a tief, an mi pity fi yuh soul Wat can mi feel? O’ mi nuh gat eni emotion! Mi nuh see dat shine Just see de dark, murky depds of de ocean Mi nuh share nuh blood wid yuh—mi nuh share Mi nuh care bout de dark, murky depds of de ocean Mi nuh share nuh blood wid yuh—mi nuh share O’ mi broke fi mi bak try to carry—carry gravity Fi yuh whip, it crack an de hiss, So fi mi conscience went pon de screamin “Wi all share de siem blood Lift wi up Lift wi up” Mi nuh care bout de dark, murky depds of de ocean Lift wi up Lift wi up
3.
All my life I’d been the underdog—a solid second best Here’s to my decay, and here’s to moving onward! You’d placed the stakes so high -A gambling connoisseur The crowd, it cut like daggers soaked in poison Blathered fame into my ears But their words can’t ever undo change, And people hate with all their hearts What they can’t seem to control, So I’d rather face the depths of that old spear Than let them ever know me No way I’m dying Fate won’t pull me underwater, And I can’t help but wonder, Am I just done? The story marches on I don’t think I wrote my best Fate won’t pull me underwater Those bellowing voices all were deafening I couldn’t help, my hands were tied Something’s boiling—raging -Something’s multiplied How do you take the vital step When you’re shoulder-deep in failure? I don’t want to believe, But I can’t help it I already read between the lines! And now I know Every passing second paints a masterpiece I’m splattered on the canvas in gold, And I bet from far away All the mistakes just give it more emotion So I feel I’m done resisting I’m not scared of what’s below I could show you everything I’ve grown to loathe No way I’m dying Fate won’t pull me underwater, I can’t help but wonder, Am I just done? The story marches on I don’t think I wrote my best Fate won’t pull me underwater You expressed a burden Suddenly you’re holding onto naught But every minute I succeed, Two points from death! The regret don’t keep me, ‘Cause no purpose halts for flesh and bones And all of that nonsense Only once in my life did I ever think I could be so misread But it came, and then it went so fast -Another smudge to the back of my head If I ever went back in time, I wouldn’t even try to fix these mistakes -If I even want to call them mistakes But if I ever went back, I’d sit and watch myself evolve into the person standing there He’s become the opposite of what you wanted -Though indebted He owe’ too many people too many favors -Too many things to worry about, But he ain’t worried about that—nah He don’t remember Would things change if he could? Would they change if he planned out ahead? Would things change if he kept his cool? I’ll keep on thinking all the reasons that I’m breathing, That I’m believing, Is ‘cause out there someone else is still in need of me Look at me deciding, Providing that there is more to life than getting riches, Acceptance, and peace of mind Despite tears, I infect you, and there is no counteractant You’re defective There’s a message that I think is worth protecting No way I’m dying Fate won’t pull me under There’s too much to wonder, And I know we’ve only just begun So I guess I should try my best to write something more No way I’m dying Fate won’t pull me under There’s too much to wonder, And I know we’ve only just begun So I guess I should try my best to write something more true
4.
O’ did I run! Did I have much to say! But I saved it for the fireside Where we drank til’ we were drunk ‘Til our minds were in a haze That’s my favorite time to tell a secret… Get it off your chest It’ll help you feel okay! I won’t even recall what you said anyway! Another drink for my friend For his secret’s been told! -A map to a mountain of silver and gold I wise man once told me all I have is my time, So I took his bet, Said the world would be mine Then the planets aligned, And we met here today Turns out my luck’s not as dry as I thought! In the old days, good fortune just fell in my lap, But who needs windfall When a knife to the back Can make a man blather every inch of his soul? Most folks just aren’t that much fun in a normal conversation When you get a map to the heavens, You should probably keep it in a safe Where people like me can’t come along And pluck it from your fingertips What was yours is better mine What’s to say? I’m a snake I’d been hiding up in the snow from my shame Baby, I’m never going home The sun in my eyes forces tears, But I don’t feel anything When I watch people die, They’re just props on a stage, And I’m a callous monologue If I get into Heaven, Best believe all the angels’ll run away Because a person like me comes along And plucks the halo from their heads What was yours is better mine What’s to say? I’m a snake O’ did I run! Did I have much to say! But my safety-pin attention has me cling to better things I’m thinking passion’s just a pocketful of change, So go cash in your obsessions, And let’s have a feast! I stole the map to paradise And wasn’t giving back I’m the fox that killed the chicken, And I’ve got it by the neck! The priests all preach humility -A coward’s claim to fame We’re going to the Promised Land And coming back as kings! Looking at myself from the heavens, I can say no one could ever take my place It’s not every day someone like me comes along And shows you how to be yourself Everyone else? Well, they can jump off a bridge I don’t believe in fairy-tales I don’t believe in dreams I don’t believe in anything that’s not in front of me I can’t foresee the outcome I don’t even have a plan! But I’m certain I could fly if I only had the chance! Nobody wants to look at me until I’m in their face Sons of bitches like to talk, But they don’t have a lot to say We might be baking enemies, We might be baking friends, Might be cooking up a fortune, Might be setting up the table again
5.
Dusk Bug 06:10
The dusk brings poison—breathe it in A distant sunder is dooming It’s a bloodstained bundle of flesh and bone Here and now, preach anything Flurry down like snow My head’s been quiet too long Thoughts pool and shimmer That’s why I have come That’s why I sit on the stone I’m a brainless quitter with a hand in woe Though I sleep sound, Nothing here is changing anymore It’s a cry for disaster Nothing here is changing anymore At the brink of sundown, At the edge of the world, I argued faithlessness to a man with no voice But his gestures told me enough To some, I’m a winner To him? A bug Though I sleep sound, Nothing here is changing anymore It’s a cry for disaster Nothing here is changing anymore Know truth knocks with the impact of a comet Then everything is strange Then you become afraid of you Fight or flight, I'm a quitter My hospitality’s wasted Behold the caitiff From the tip of the stone, I am no bug! -Ignorance bestowed as involvement is lost Memory fogs as equilibrium grows All the other kids think it’s funny, But they don’t know what I know… They see pain They see death That twist of information could cost your life… Now I’ve all the full-color designs ‘Cause I sat on the stone If I am an insect, Then all of my people take the night -Light up the forest with all our numbers And you’ll all sleep sound ‘Cause nothing is changing It’s a cry for disaster Nothing is changing anymore
6.
Hydra 06:00
Fed us doubt just to see us cower Trouble comes in pairs I could’ve heed this warning, But I was busy removing the head of a hydra -Dead to rights was it Was there anything you could’ve said To provoke a good response? ‘Cause now I’m in dismay And I know we’re all in danger, And I know we’re all afraid, But the Promised Lands' worth it in the end I hack further into my feelings I slice closer to the source Problems sprout like little seedlings -Take one out, then birth two more I couldn’t make this up I was after anything thing to show I’m brave I am stuck in a jungle of avarice -Kept me hungry -Kept me a slave I only did more action ‘cause my words never found their home I tried to tell myself there was hope and no more misery Ah—that was the end of me… Ever since that day I’ve self-destructed I’m the enemy I’ve made my peace with that, And it’s okay We don’t survive and get to walk away without a scratch No, trouble comes in pairs! And it comes in starving, Comes in violent, Comes in snarling, Comes in angry and greedy No one can make it stop I fear we’ve neared the end of the rope I couldn’t make this up! I was after anything to give me strength, And I interpret that as virtue I interpret that as justice and good deeds, But you know that I know it’s over Don’t you know I know! That’s why you jab at me with prejudice, And I keep being more and more discreet Convinced that I can change the outcome I flounder as I’m cutting And cutting and cutting and cutting the heads -Wild and rampant! We can’t stop it! No, trouble’s always coming And coming and coming and coming in pairs, But it took that doubt to make me cower
7.
The Waypoint 07:08
Everyone pointed at me, Agreed I was to blame, And for the sake of time, I’ll say that’s true I’d gotten rather carried away I’d fought until the cows came home And for the sake of time, I’ll say that wasn’t the brightest thing I could do The careless leader fell, And all the pawns gave in Now all I hear is talk of treason and untruth -That’s what I’ve gathered My people, you’re spineless and weak, And not a single one of you matters The veil, the mask, the crown, The cape, the costume will consume In came the tribe and out went the sun -Never alone When everyone—everyone is just like you Said no to life and said yes to fear -Never alone They’re a part of you So does it mean I’m a seraph In a different sense of the word? Does evil still want to kiss the ring? Sorry I let you down Now go and tell the crowd that I’m a piece of shit, And I’m a waste of a human But when you go to bed, I know you’ll still believe You’ll put a finger to your lips and relive the scene I couldn’t do no wrong I couldn’t do it You’ve got nothing else In came the tribe and out went the sun -Never alone When everyone—everyone is just like you Said no to life and said yes to fear -Never alone They’re a part of you So you were acrid, And you were fuming ‘Cause I let you down Your loyalty and your allegiance Had been sucked right out But I was passive, And I was tolerant, And I bit my tongue I could’ve killed you I could’ve raped you, But I do no wrong
8.
Red Thumb 04:10
I’d been found out, So you thought I’d choke, But I’m full of lots of little tricks Don’t underestimate the things I do and say I’ve seen the tract If anyone can best the fence, it’s me Blood shed by my hand before dawn -A red thumb tonight Doubt says the sky will be falling down someday Doubt says my heart is still full of hate Doubt says that somehow I’ll always be one step behind Maybe today’s the day doubt discriminates And lays waste What’s wrong with me? My brain is a brimstone castle cracked at the seams My filter’s all backed up—slips out I can’t feel grief My touch has gone rust Now I’m a thriving disease And I can’t be snuffed out -Just keep growing and growing and growing Blood shed by my hand before dawn -A red thumb tonight You dig and dig and dig and dig You dig until you find Whatever it is that you seek more than moral height The garden’s full of flesh—a mess The flowers are all sore There is no hole that goes deeper than greed’s allure Blood shed by my hand before dawn -A red thumb tonight
9.
Mudoo Ra 08:30
One shovel from insane When I realized the bar was set to high, But avarice had surely caught me by the toe, Dragged me through the mud, Stuck me in the center, Then the feast began! O’ I’d lost my hand! Shouldn’t have been much a surprise to me, And I confess, there was a godsend It seems good fortune still appears to those Who walk the path of carelessness and greed And with flesh comes sentience Fate decrees from a part of your world I’m forever between something I’m not supposed to know And all the thoughts that float around it -Influence the way that I contain myself, And I don’t even want to Yeah well, maybe I’m just done with being told I’m not good enough -Good enough -Good enough And with madness comes negligence You should look beyond your bleakness Pray your sadness to the beast, Don’t be comrades with the weak, And you’ll be glad the symbiosis was bestowed And surely half the bad I’ve done’ll be washed away Because all beauty comes clean And I could feel myself anew The scars of my decay had been erased Your feet remember all the places you’ve been, But things intertwine and override when they’re complete Placed around the table, Where only dreadfulness secretes, All my horrors brought to light What an unsanitary world And I’m a part of it Placed ‘round the table, All of my terrors brought to light, And I’m unfamiliar with this type of process I’m already elbow-deep in travesty And hellbent on staying gold ‘Cause sin’s been such a tragedy, And I’m done with favors But what do you say To the hecklers all in the black of the room? Do you settle the score? ‘Cause the moment you turn your back, They will come I’m good enough to recognize I’ve gotcha’ when I see it The better it tastes, The more you’re likely to try it again And the better it tastes, you’ll try harder We’re all just victims No one can help it No one can help it
10.
Reclipse 05:44
[DISCLAIMER: The chorus of this song is not meant to be taken literally. If somebody shoots up a school or something because of it, do not blame me]. You hid before they saw you There’s no way to deny they could hear you grieving -Grieving over my plight What to do with people who won’t face the truth? What to do with people who play pretend just to feel good? I’d the perfect weapon, But I just didn’t know how to aim What do bullets mean When no one wants to pull the trigger? We’re not fit to make decisions We’re not fit to wear any crowns Point the barrel straight, And see if it lets ‘em walk away I’ve no concentration when I don the mask -Hard to hide My lips take rise like a quarter moon -A sickly, tilted smile—limitations choked Ends begin to fray and the snap provokes no control Could be a funeral today… I’d the perfect weapon, But I just didn’t know how to aim What do bullets mean When no one wants to pull the trigger? We’re not fit to make decisions We’re not fit to wear any crowns Point the barrel straight And see if it lets ‘em walk away Here’s to standing on water! Here’s to being kings! We can right all wrongs ‘cause we just believed! Know when I fall from the stone, You’ll think of what’s been done -Just hold onto what is left -Just keep your faith secure Don’t matter happened then, You don’t need your wings to fly Don’t matter what happens once you’ve reached the other side And when all the tops spin out of order, And when you’re standing here So far from grace, so close to judgment, You’ll never want to look much further, But impulsion’ll call you to! You’ll stare until your pupils run dry Just watch me fall from the stone No strings to hold me up The sacrifices I’ve made, I hope will be enough Don’t matter what happens next I don’t need no wings to fly Don’t matter how fast I sink It don’t matter It don’t matter
11.
My Reward 10:24
Pardon me, I could hang from the canopy Do what I got to—I’m not a fan of making ghosts, But it’s not up for debate—hand’s free When it saw what laid in front of me, It thought I should procure more than the rest of you -Leaked out black for so long, And now I’m face to face with the option Still, you praise me, acting like I’m a hero Nah, keep that to yourself… ‘Cause I don’t show my slinking side Unless there’s no one else around Like I said, I hate making ghosts, But we’ve been shown a gracious prize, So now we seemed to point in that direction I could hear my heart dribbling thunder There goes my secret As my greed shows itself, You’re all tumbling under six feet of dirt That’s a real reward Now it's so easy to be the bad guy on this mission See we’s about to bust a couple skulls And make a run for the home-plate Vicious, I know… But all those hardships that I had endured Persuaded me to think that I might have earned my fortune Today’s the day that you see me fly You called me wicked ‘cause you’re so grounded What makes the difference is that I have what it takes to be me I survived while you quivered in the corner and cried What are your last words? We’ll let you have them I could hear my heart dribbling thunder There goes my secret As my greed shows itself, You’re all tumbling under six feet of dirt That’s a real reward Are you feeling it? That’s called agony And it only gets worse for you—wait and see No more time or space In this holy place, There exists only one true god, And it’s me. Again and again, I will blacken the sun Dump barrels blood in the sea ‘Cause that’s all that’ll be left Laugh as your spirit’s removed from the skeleton, Smashed into bits with the back of my shovel -Bullets seal your fate Etch this in your brain; Did you bury the treasure or dig your own grave? Side by side, you all knelt down You know, I guess life’s finite after all… -A perfect line from A to Z When it’s time to meet your maker, Don’t be a coward Take it like a man, and face me! Here’s to the journey! It’s been a wild ride I understand if you hate me, But just say thank you for the moments And thank you for the dreams Thanks for the adventure, Thanks for the time spent You don’t bounce back after this No, this is the pinnacle Don’t be so cynical We all can’t be winners O’ I don’t wanna’ hear you plea! Just say thank you for the freedom! I’ll take the pain away for good Don’t you go thinking that there’s a better place Nobody bounces back from this No, there is no afterlife -Just nothing forever So don’t you lie, and don’t pretend Wipe your tears so you can see the end I’m not scared of karma If such a thing exists, Then I should have been silenced the day I left your shore Life’s just chain reactions Line up your troubles and blast them aside No one will find them No one could watch them die

about

"Mudoo Ra" is a concept album about a man who experiences the depths of greed. This album is part four of a five part series called, "From Windfall To Hell," which is the tragic tale of a man's delusional descent into madness. Remember, the music is only telling 1-10% of the whole story.

credits

released April 1, 2019

All songs composed, written, recorded, and mixed by Justin Bonitz. I also programmed all the drum/orchestra MIDI and drew the album artwork!

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Hungry Lights

Hungry Lights is my solo music project. The plan is to release five concept albums all surrounding a character named, "Prill," who is a plesiosaur hunter on a quest to better his life, but everything he does just adds to his own delusion and lack of self-worth. The music is the musical interpretation of a book series I have been writing called, "From Windfall To Hell." ... more

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