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Constancy

from Heavy Is The Crown by Hungry Lights

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about

Not a lot goes on in this chapter. Prill is still imprisoned, so everything that goes on is a stream of consciousness about regret and more self-deprecation. Prill wishes he could erase himself from existence because he believes the world would be a better place without him in it. He is very angry, and there is nothing he can do about it which just further enrages him. He is powerless.

lyrics

Fate decides this time I spend alone
And I know it’s not forever
So I keep to myself—my own little imperfection
Would I try to write my own way
Or trace the lines between the dots?

O' I wish I could forget everything!
To dig up all the seeds I had sown,
All the dreams I had chased...
How I wanted to make this right!
But their buzzing dampened the way
The swarm was too loud
And was drowning the sound of my soul's shrieks

How I just want to go back
And remove myself from others’ lives!
Blow up the bridge—a bomb between you and me
Another could take my place!
I want to be a nobody
I want to disappear

Your word's only good when it's not make-believe
It's harder to reclaim a trust once it leaves
And harder to do so from behind the walls of a prison cell
But your arrow met its mark down the center
Splintered, fractured,
And dust was all that matched what you shot
From the quiver of your scorn
-Such bolts don't belong here

How I just want to go back
And remove myself from others’ lives!
Blow up the bridge—a bomb between you and me
Another could take my place!
I want to be a nobody
I want to disappear

O' they took my lamb away!
And the wolf I was, how I howled resurgence!
And this chastened snare of pride and steel was a part of me
How I'd bite my own head off!

I was burning
I was weakened
What I felt’s below dismay
To inherit such stigma and peel back that shell
I don’t belong here

No one cried, "timber" when I fell
My roots were worn and dried
So I just fell...
I just fell apart

Were you ever even with me?
Did you ever even care?
-Another victim for the coward’s rage
If I went to the beginning,
And I traced it back to here,
Would I understand my flaws?

And what am I to do with this limiting, fail-safe rationale?
And who was I to prove?
Being the conqueror,
I had vanquished all the petty, little thorns on the sidewalk
-Kept the concrete clear
And so time increased its pacing
Now too fast—I’ve grown afraid!
And what am I to do with my fear?
And how do I prevent these burning tears from falling out?
If I run from the truth, I’m only hiding from myself
But that reflection in the mirror,
That’s not the person I should see

credits

from Heavy Is The Crown, released November 15, 2016

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Hungry Lights

Hungry Lights is my solo music project. The plan is to release five concept albums all surrounding a character named, "Prill," who is a plesiosaur hunter on a quest to better his life, but everything he does just adds to his own delusion and lack of self-worth. The music is the musical interpretation of a book series I have been writing called, "From Windfall To Hell." ... more

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